Emotion Regulation
In
Children and Adolescents
Lab
(ERICA Lab)

Guidelines for Positive Parental Communication

 

• Keep your statements short and to the point

  Make your point in 2 to 3 sentences

 

 

• Focus on objective information

  Avoid the “blame game”

  Discuss what is wrong from your perspective about a situation

  Point out the behavior of the other person, not the assumed emotion behind the behavior

 

 

• Focus on “I” statements

  Talk from the first person

  Example: instead of, “You make me stressed when you do that” try “I feel this is a problem because it creates stress for me”

 

 

• Reflect back what you heard

  Ensures the listener and speaker are on the same page

  Gives speaker an opportunity to clarify, if needed

 

 

• Avoid “extreme” language

  Always, never

  Hate

 

 

• Hold discussions when there is time

  Don’t discuss important issues when there isn’t time to fully talk about them

  Minimize disruptions (e.g., telephone) during conversation

 

 

• Come to a resolution

  Try to resolve the problem, preferably with an action plan

  If emotions arise, table conversation until everyone is calm

  If the issue needs to be tabled, come back to it